Snow White, Episode II: Attack of the Dwarves
by LeiaKent
Summary: A parody of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.


Once upon a time, there was a girl. She had ebony black hair and pale skin. She lived in the forest, with all the loving little forest creatures. But we've forgotten someone. More like seven little someones. Yes, the seven dwarves were there too. Doc, Grumpy, Bashful, Happy, Sneezy, Sleepy and Dopey were still living in the cozy little cottage in the forest. But not for long. In the east side of the forest, there is a rally against the seven dwarves and Snow White. Dwarves aren't supposed to associate with humans. It's against their laws! So, in order to stop the "Scandalous Seven," (that's what the other dwarves are calling them,) they must attack, all at once. This is a terrible crime to commit, so they must pay. The good dwarves need the help of the forest animals to beat the Scandalous Seven. If they don't react to this problem quickly, the race of dwarves could be doomed. The humans could invade their forest, forcing them to move somewhere else. But where else can a dwarf live? They could give in, and live with Snow White, or they could find another forest. But there aren't any more forests with all the things that they, the good dwarves, would need! So, the dwarves will be holding a council, just after the sun sets.   
  
Meanwhile, back in the west side of the forest, the Seven dwarves are living their happy, little lives normally. They have no idea that the dwarves that they once called friends are coming to find them, and neither does Snow White. But I know someone who does . . .   
  
In the castle where Snow White originally came from, the Queen asks her magic mirror her daily questions.   
  
  
  
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?", the Queen asks smugly, already knowing the never-changing answer.   
  
  
  
"You are, my queen," says the Mirror in a monotone voice. The queen cackled with delight.  
  
"Now for my second question. Mirror, mirror on the wall, where is my pesky little stepdaughter?"  
  
The mirror groaned. "The same place she's been for the last 50 times you've asked me."  
  
"Actually, I've only asked 49 times, not that anyone's counting." She said stiffly.   
  
"But, on to my last question of the day. Mirror, mirror on the wall, what's happening in my kingdom?" The Mirror hesitated. "Well? What is it?" The queen asked anxiously.   
  
"The dwarves of the east side of the forest are planning an attack on the dwarves of the west side of the forest." He paused and took a breath (if that's possible for a mirror to do) then continued. "If there's a battle, Snow White will come back to the castle, and tell the king what you tried to do. Then she'll take your spot in the royal castle."  
  
The queen gasped. "That's an absolutely horrifying thought! Someone taking my place in the castle. Why Mirror, how could you think such a thing?"  
  
"I'm sorry, M'lady, but you've already asked your three questions today." And then, the mirror's face faded away . . .   
  
The sun had set. All of the dwarves from the east side gathered in the Council Clearing, or the CC, as some called it. Anyways, the dwarf leader was there, and he called the council meeting to order.  
  
"I've heard that our friends in the west have deceived us. They are living with a human." The dwarf leader, Smeddy, paused as whispers such as "how could they!" and"that's unheard of!" broke out through the crowd. Smeddy shook his head sadly. "Yes, my friends, it is true. And you know what happens when a dwarf lives with a human. They must go to prison. Forever." Some people gasped. Others looked grim. But they all knew that it had to happen. "Well my faithful dwarves, we must create a plan to get the dwarves." So the good dwarves of the east discussed a way to get the dwarves. One of the dwarves wrote it all down on a list. The first thing was to get the help of the forest creatures. And that part of the plan would commence tomorrow at daybreak.  
  
  
  
Back in the west side of the forest, the seven dwarves followed their daily   
  
schedule. First, they get up. Then, they all get cleaned up, get dressed and go down to the kitchen where Snow White has breakfast already made. After breakfast, they went off to work, Doc in the lead and poor little Dopey at the end.   
  
  
  
"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go..." Then, they began to whistle. When their song had finished, they had reached their destination. So, they began to work.   
  
In a nearby bush, spies hid and watched the dwarves work. It made them sad towatch their friends, as they knew what was to come. As they were watching, they noticed the sun break-through the horizon and they knew that in another part of the forest, the dwarves of the east were negotiating with the forest critters. Their plan was toexplain to the animals that if the humans came into the forest, they would destroy it. And, if the animals didn't go for that, then the forest would be doomed. But, the dwarves were pretty sure that the animals would want to help them, as they are their friends and allies. Therefore, they would begin Step 2 in the plan immediately after they got the animals consent. Step 2 was to get the area around the dwarves house being watched at all times so that they could see anyone who was entering or leaving the house. So, since that animals had agreed to help them, they sent three of their best spy-dwarves to hide and watch the dwarf-house all the time. Nothing unusual happened, until one day, after the dwarves had left for work, an old lady came to the door. The dwarves thought this was extremely weird, so they used binoculars to watch through the window of the cottage. What they saw shocked them. The old lady had given Snow White an apple, and after she took a bite out of it, she fainted. The old lady scurried out of the little cabinvery quickly, cackling all the way. The dwarves didn't know what to do! If they checked on Snow White, they could be charged for talking to her. But if they didn't, she could die! And even though dwarves don't like the humans, they wouldn't want to let one die! And after all, who would ever find out . . .  
  
Back at the castle, the queen bounded through the door excitedly, still changing back from the form of the old lady to her normal self.  
  
  
  
"It worked! My plan worked!" the queen cried, just as her nose changed back, completing the reverse transformation. She clapped her hands excitedly and plopped herself down on a over-stuffed armchair, then turned to her mirror. "I got rid of that bratty child, so even if there is a battle, how will it affect me?"   
  
"It won't affect you now, my queen," said the mirror. "But I suppose I should tell you that a prince is riding through the woods, in search of a princess. Two dwarves went in to the cottage after they saw what happened and called for for a prince to come. Dwarves know stuff about magic too. But, if the prince finds Snow White and kisses her, she won't be gone after all."  
  
  
  
"WHAT!?!" bellowed the queen. "You mean, I changed into the form of that ugly old lady for NOTHING! And that brat's not dead? Why isn't she? I thought you said that it was a poison apple!"  
  
"Well, it was a magical poison apple. You weren't specific enough. Magical   
  
poison apples only put a person to sleep until a true prince kisses them," said the mirror.  
  
  
  
Dwarves surrounded Snow White's cottage. There plan was to wait until the   
  
dwarves came home from work, then attack. But then, they heard shocked voices and a couple of wails. The the dwarves of the east looked at each other in utter bewilderment. Then, the door burst open and one very angry dwarf came out. He began search the bushes. And found . . .  
  
"Smeddy! What are you doing here! Hey! What are you all doing here?" Doc   
  
demanded angrily, looking around at all of the other dwarves.   
  
  
  
"I'm sorry, Doc, but we have to arrest you and your friends for living with a human.  
  
"Well we aren't living with a human anymore! She's been poisoned!" Doc exclaimed. "With this!" He showed the apple to Smeddy.  
  
  
  
"You know we didn't do it!" Smeddy said honestly. "You know that dwarves don't believe in that!"  
  
  
  
The two dwarves that had been watching the house stepped forward. "We know who did it. It was someone disguised as an old lady. An old lady that looked like THAT!" One of the dwarf-spies pointed to a lady that was half hidden behind a tree.  
  
  
  
"Killing someone is a bigger crime then living with a human. Come on men! Let's go get her!" And with a shout, nearly one hundred dwarves ran toward the queen, closely followed by a ton a forest animals. The queen squealed, and tried to run, but she ran straight into Dopey, who had heard the commotion and wandered out the back door of the cabin. The queen fell head over heels into a big bush. The dwarves quickly pulled her out and tied her hands and feet together. "Come with us, or you'll be trampled by the forest critters." Smeddy made a gesture toward the animals. The queen let out an anguished cry and stood up and let herself be taken by the dwarves. Smeddy stayed behind. "I'm very sorry about what happened, Doc. I guess there's no reason to take you to prison anymore, seeing as Snow White is slumbering.  
  
"What do you mean by slumbering? She's dead," said Doc sadly.  
  
  
  
"She's not dead, that was a magical poison apple. If a prince kisses her, she'll awaken."  
  
"I'm a prince," said a voice from behind them. The two dwarves spun around to see a handsome, young prince sitting upon a beautiful white mare with a long, flowing mane. "I got a message that a local princess was in need of a prince. Seeing as I live just beyond the borders of this forest, I thought that I would check it out. What happened?" Doc quickly explained all that had happened in the past hour. "Oh my!"   
  
exclaimed the prince. "What a story! Where is this princess? I will see if I'm able to   
  
revive her." The prince enter the cottage and saw Snow White lying on her bed. He went over to her and kissed her. Her eyes fluttered.  
  
"Where am I? What happened? Wh . . . who are you?" She said as her eyes fell upon the prince.  
  
"I'm Prince Charming," said the prince, but that was all he had time to say as five little pairs of feet came rushing down the stairs and Dopey and Doc rushed inside. Smeddy stayed outside the door, not interacting with any humans.  
  
"Snow White! Snow White!" The seven dwarves rushed over and gave Snow   
  
White a hug. But Snow White couldn't keep her eyes of Prince Charming, and Prince   
  
Charming couldn't keep his eyes of her. Finally, after a couple more seconds of the pair gazing at each other, Prince Charming said, "Princess, will you marry me?"   
  
"Yes!" replied Snow White. Then they all went outside and Snow White waved goodbye to all of the dwarves, then mounted the prince's horse and they rode of into the sunset.  
  
  
  
"I'm going to miss her," said Happy.  
  
  
  
"Me too," said all the others in unison.  
  
  
  
"At least she's happy, though!" said Doc. "Hey, Smeddy, can we move back into the east side of the forest with you?"  
  
"As long as you don't invite any humans!" said Smeddy with a chuckle. And they all lived happily ever after.  
  
The End 


End file.
